He Filmed Me During Sex Without My Consent, His Scholarship Asked Me To Forgive Him

A netter on Instagram (@yiuxinyin) bravely decided to share her story as a victim of voyeurism. What happened was that on 11 April 2021, Jaypy Michael Pillay decided to film her during sex despite her expressing clearly that she did not consent. When she saw the videos on his phone on the same day, she lodge a police report.

@yiuxinyin posted this to talk about ways in which the police, NUS, and Jaypy’s scholarship provider could have done better. For one, who are they to tell the victim to “forgive him”?

Source: @yiuxinyin

How the police should have done better

The police has been in the spotlight for a number of times with regard to their handling of victims of sexual assault. The most high profile being Raeesah Khan’s lie, which in Kirsten Han’s words, actually held truth in it.

In @yiuxinyin’s case, first of all, they made a male police officer take her statement. Although there was a female officer present, “she asked me with frustration if it was okay for her male colleague to take my statement instead, as she was trying to wrap up her current case to go off duty”. Although according to @yiuxinyin the male officer was civil, this added to her sense of helplessness.

The male officer also repeated the details of @yiuxinyin’s story “for at least five times” to other investigating officers on the phone, in front of her. This is very unprofessional, as repeating a victim’s story in front of them could trigger PTSD. Moreover, he made the victim feel like her case is not serious with statements like “there was no threatening” and “there was no dissemination” in response to clarifications. While we can all acknowledge that this is for administrative purposes, there is no need to make the victim feel stupid for coming to you for help. They can talk on the phone away from the victim.

Worse still, they did not update the victim promptly nor regularly after the police report. @yiuxinyin had to take initiative to call them to ask for updates frequently.

Source: @yiuxinyin

How NUS could have done better

Seems like the National University of Sex is living up to their reputation again. Giving voyeurs and sex offenders second chances by allowing them to remove their suspension annotation from their transcript 3 years after graduation. They also give offenders a chance to appeal NUS’ decision, but not the victim.

On top of that, they are also not open about the reasons why they make their decisions. They don’t keep the victims informed. Why is this top university in Asia (no.2 now) supporting the offenders instead of the victim?

Source: @yiuxinyin

How Jaypy’s scholarship provider should have done better

RE&S Enterprises Pte Ltd’s HR Mili Er called @yiuxinyin supposedly to update her about their decision with regard to Jaypy’s scholarship after the incident. However, Mili Er was more than unprofessional. The Human Resource Senior Manager tried to plea for Jaypy.

In fact, she asked whether @yiuxinyin could settle with Jaypy out of court/with money/with his parents. She said that for Jaypy, “his future is gone”. She also made the horrible link to the River Valley murder case by saying that the parents of the victims already forgave the perpetrator. All this because “Jaypy was very ambitious when we met him in the orientation”.

Brands under RE&S

As a society we should really do better

Thank you @yiuxinyin for sharing your story.